Healing from addiction comes with the gift of finding oneself, but unfamiliar is the feeling of loss and grief. Air escapes from the tired cracks worn around your soul, for it’s time to breathe again. The once sturdy bones perceived to never yield, now aching so deeply will mend once more. Memories foggy in nature, now having been resurrected without warning. Sobriety sparks into a flood so powerful it seems impossible to hold it all in at times. It’s natural to feel like losing control, but water was always meant to slip through the crevices to find its purpose too. Allow the tears to release the aching years, that’s the beauty of healing it is holding hands while grieving. Habits must be reformed, friendships may unravel, family to be mended and a sense of self to be restored.
Active addiction buries the feelings meant for you to keep as a guide with a purpose on your journey. Remember you are relearning yourself! Building skills will seem unsteady at first, alas, do not give up. Soon the reminders will resurface to defend your purpose. You will no longer be encased in “flight mode” of escaping but this time truly embracing. You will begin to see the strength of your shield that has been hand built over time. Memories seemingly scattered as collections are parts of you that may seem to be shattered, perhaps harder to gather, but they all matter. The intimidating epiphanies of when emotions all drop into your awareness, please take all the time you need. Grieving who you were is a part of the process to become who you are meant to be. Time truly does heal all wounds.
Letting go of all that you’ve known is hard, but necessary. Crossing into a path unfamiliar does get easier with each step forward. Moments of reflection may stay a while longer than you’d anticipate. As if a clock that never stopped with the hands forever in place. That’s when you’ll know it’s time and at your own pace you must go. This occurrence certainly becomes a turning point of what to look for as important “speed bumps” of your own path. Deciding what patterns to keep and what to leave behind for the next journey. Generational cycle breakers, self-awareness pioneers, to those who are on this journey for the first time, and to others who have already made the climb. You are welcomed with open arms. Grieve together, build together, celebrate the triumphs, tribulations and tears. We are all here to thrive, not merely survive.
Lean on your inner strength and continue to surround yourself with ongoing support. You are never alone.
We are always here for you.
Michelle Ellis
Recovery Coach
Plymouth County Outreach Mellis@plymouthcountyoutreach.org (508)-944-044
