Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes
By Haley Kennedy, Lead Recovery Coach — 10.09.2020 —
We must commit to change in order to change.
I could type a million inspirational words about why I love recovery, but if you don’t want to stop it will make no difference. All the education and tools are insignificant if they’re not paired with a conscious decision.
We can half-heartedly give recovery a go, but if, deep down, we’re not ready to say goodbye it’ll never stick. Because, well, deep down we’re not ready.
That’s the bottom line. If there’s still a little part inside that wants to keep using, then that part will always win. All it will take is one little thought to convince us to pick up. That’s the truth.
But if we want to change with every single fiber of our being, if there’s not one tiny sliver of ourselves that believes that continuing to use is a good idea, then change will come.
If you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired, if you’ve done enough ‘research’ to know that you cannot have a functional relationship with substances, and if you’re completely, totally, 100% ready to give it up for good…. well then, sit back and watch the transformation.
Or more like roll up your sleeves and start making changes. Because it’s going to take hard work. But that’s ok. Hard work never killed any of us. And many thousands of us have done the hard work to find recovery.
I’d half-heartedly wanted to sort out my drug use for some time before I did. I knew it was destroying my health, and my life in every way imaginable, but I still didn’t want to actually stop… I couldn’t bear the thought of life with no substances, at all, whatsoever, to shield me from life on life’s terms or to numb my pain. It seemed like a monumental feat.
It wasn’t until the self-loathing left me broken inside, the neglect left me physically sick, and the destructive self-seeking left me completely alone, that I fully surrendered and committed. I knew with every fiber of my being that I was ready. I knew I needed to stop using, and I wanted to. I thoroughly embraced change.
And with commitment, perseverance, vulnerability, and support, change came. My journey is three years and counting, only because I know there is nothing more rewarding than recovery and I choose to walk through the tough stuff rather than take the easy way out.
If you’re trying and failing to stop using, please don’t beat yourself up. Look deep within and ask yourself if you believe you can do it, and why you still think that substances are necessary for a fun, fulfilling life.
Choose to banish those harmful thoughts. Trust that you will convince the old ways of thinking they’re past they’re expiration date. Trust that you’re going to win the fight.
And then change will come. You just watch.