Self- love is a journey that has no definite start or endpoint. You can give yourself as little or as much love as you can, it’s something that you can’t quantify. There is never a right or wrong way to practice self-love and get to self-acceptance, because everyone has their own unique journey falling for themselves.
Learning to love yourself after entering recovery can feel like an impossible task. You may drown out all the good with negative self- talk, feeling worthless, and overwhelming low self-esteem. Sometimes you might even wonder if you can even trust yourself again. These feelings can be unpleasant, overwhelming and uncomfortable but, are completely normal. When we start our process in recovery, we start a new path with new coping skills and really start to get a better sense of self.
Building a practice of self-love in recovery is one of the most valuable things you can do for yourself. Learning to love yourself again is a journey and not a destination. It won’t happen overnight, but you can start to integrate some practices into your routine to help build up the habits of self- love and self-esteem. Being kind to ourselves and knowing that we are giving ourselves all the love we can in the moment is important to break the patterns of negative thinking and self-talk.
Pay attention to the negative thoughts that come up for you. Question the why behind them and what is kicking these feelings up. If you heard a friend say these things about themselves, what would you say? You may try and point out different ways that they are strong, and how others play a role in these feelings. You might start practicing positive affirmations to counter those negative thoughts. Saying things such as “I am strong,” “I am worth it,” “I am lovable.”
Sometimes when we’re feeling overwhelmed by negative self-talk the idea of practicing self-love may sound impossible. Instead, we can try practicing self- neutrality. Start to view your thoughts with objectivity: Negative thoughts are a completely normal thing for a brain to do. They don’t mean anything about you or what you value as a person. Some neutral affirmations you can try are: “This is hard,” “I am doing the best I can.” I don’t have to figure it all out,” and “I am ok today.”
Taking good care of yourself is a great way to practice self-love and build up your self-esteem. I always remind people that self-care does not always look like getting your hair or nails done, getting that massage, or eating the sweets of your choice. But there are other ways to implement self-care through out the day.
Pay attention to what makes your mind and body feel good. Maybe it’s the 5 minutes in the morning you have to yourself drinking coffee, or listening to your favorite artist, exercise, or getting lost in a book. Finding healthy distraction techniques that work for you can help move through difficult feelings that come up while trying to rebuild self-esteem and self-love. Try increasing your self-care, self-love and practicing positive and neutral affirmations when you are around situations you know maybe difficult or triggering.
You don’t have to figure out how to build your self-esteem or self-love on your own utilize your network, sponsor or even a therapist to help you navigate through negative thinking patterns, self-talk and help you find new, healthier, happier ways of living. These people can help you on your healing journey as you being to trust yourself again.
So, on this journey use the filter, wear the make up or the outfit that makes you feel good, play the song that makes you dance in the car on repeat! Honor yourself and your journey always!
